not alone

You're not alone. (I mean, probably.) When something triggers emotions that I find extra hard to cope with when they're potent, like shame, helplessness, or feeling small or when depression symptoms start to show, my mean--y'all she is vicious!--inner self comes out and lets me know without hesitation, "You're alone. When things get dark, you're… Continue reading not alone

getting there pt 3

The last time I wrote one of these was in 2017, but based on the last paragraph of part two the story seems to have left off somewhere a few years prior to that. I know I should read the first two parts (you're certainly more than welcome to read them but I don't think… Continue reading getting there pt 3

how to stop caring what people think

I've been a people-pleaser most of my life. I'm not the type to go a tremendous distance out of my way to make someone happy but rather the type who will obsess over any real or perceived disapproval, dislike, annoyance, anger, sadness directed towards me or as a result of something I did. By obsess… Continue reading how to stop caring what people think

going with the flow

I'm learning to go with the flow, the flow of my energy, that is. I used to set the same productivity (and social too) expectations without taking into account the natural flow of my physical and mental energy. And then I would fail. I would fail because I would often set my expectations in times… Continue reading going with the flow

tangled

I wrote almost 2 months ago in a post called sad vaguely about entering "a season of existential/religious/spiritual searching," and that when I was ready to I would continue those thoughts. I'm kind of ready, but only ready enough to expand just a tiny bit further--but not much, so don't get your hopes up for… Continue reading tangled

wicks and whispers

We laid down our answers With a restlessness in our limbs And a numbness in our hearts Surreal encounters half-forgotten Running our fingers over pretty scars Memories of Love etched in the skin Of our souls   We laid down our answers The answers we had demanded in the past Meticulously crafted and quickly bought--… Continue reading wicks and whispers

i have adhd

Hi, my name is Alissa and I have ADHD. Before I get too far in, I want to clarify who this post is for and who it is not for. This post is for anyone out there who might be able to relate, who might be on or about to start the journey to understanding… Continue reading i have adhd

confession

Shout, shout at the Moon Shout all you want to She won't grace you with a whisper She doesn't wander, she isn't like you Though there are nights I look up at the sky And I witness a sort of reply In her ancient, glassy eyes They suggest a bigger, brighter, warmer light Well, that… Continue reading confession

sad

I'm not sure I'm feeling a little sadness or am experiencing the first signs of a depressive wonky period of life (mostly my wonky brain is anxious or disorganized). I've had two major depression episodes in my life, one in high school and one in college, each starting about 4 years apart. I'm a year… Continue reading sad

relationships & wonky brains

[You know I didn't proofread this. I know it's a reflection on me and that sucks but proofreading is boring and I'm not a professional blogger and you more or less can still get the point even with a typo or ten. When I read this again in thee days I'll be horrified at all… Continue reading relationships & wonky brains