losing my blog virginity

I’m new to this whole blog world. I guess I want to see what all the fuss is about. But basically at this point I’m just srsly confused by it. I predict this will probably be one of those things I do for a week and then forget about.

I met Jesus at 16. A little over four years later, I’m still seeking and figuring out what it means to live out Luke 9:23, re-evaluating a lot of things I learned in church growing up.

Five years ago, before I knew Jesus, a friend of mine died in a canoe accident on a float trip we were on. It was frightening and traumatic, and up until a few weeks ago when God kept nagging me to talk to a counselor about it, I had just suppressed all those memories, feelings, and fears. The process is new and scary and I’ve fallen back into depression.

Are blogs supposed to have themes?

Because I don’t feel like having one actually.

I don’t have following Jesus down anywhere near perfectly. I’m facing places in my heart I haven’t been for a while. I’m trying to come to terms with depression being a part of who I am, whatever that means. IDK. I guess I’ll write about it here.


2 thoughts on “losing my blog virginity”

  1. Alyssa, I don’t write blogs or have any friends die in such a terrible way as you have. I have had other things in my life that have effected me and I do struggle with depression and take medication for that. It is hard as a Christian sometimes, to come to terms with that. As Christians, we are supposed to be filled with the joy of the Lord. While that doesn’t mean everything in our life is going to be hunky dory, we are to look to God for our joy. Hmmm, so how does that work with being a Christian and being depressed? What happens when we are in the dark pit and can’t see the light at the top? What happens when other Christians look down on us because we have to take medication to help? I’ve finally come to the conclusion that God knows exactly how my body is wired and what I need to be healthy. Finally people are starting to accept that being mentally unhealthy is no different than any other physical ailment and it’s ok to seek help. God has also allowed so much to be discovered and developed to help our physical bodies be more healthy until we go to be with him and have complete, whole bodies. So, he has provided a way for me to make my body healthy, to make my life easier to live. Because of that, I can find that joy that comes from my relationship with God and I can concentrate on that joy during bad times as well as the good times.

    I’m so glad that you listened to that nudging that was telling you to seek help for the things you were dealing with! You are a very special young lady that God is going to use in a mighty way and I know that you are touching the lives of so many people in your daily life! Keep seeking God and his ways. Don’t let anyone convince you that you should do otherwise! Love you Miss Alissa!

    1. Thanks for being so real with me and for the encouragement!! And I’ve come to feel the same way about medication as you. I don’t feel ashamed or weird about being upfront about it. I’m glad I know you and I love you too!

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