safe

With all this clutter in my brain,
can’t follow an idea straight.
Found myself the involuntary
conductor on this train of thought
I terrified will never stop.
I just wanna run through fields of freedom
and take in breaths of carelessness
like I did when we first met.

I’m both the aimless archer
and the arrow,
shot without a target
flying fast with no direction,
where up is down and left is right,
and I’m too on edge to sleep at night.
I just want to rest my head in peace
and give myself away completely to my dreams
like I did when you were next to me.

I stood and watched the lightning strike
the great, big oak that I once climbed
to view my world as if I were a giant.
I was paralyzed and mesmerized,
and never felt so small, you know,
as your mighty flood waters rose.

My mind is treading water
while my heart stands on the coast,
dreaming of lands I don’t know.
Yet somehow I am on the sea,
my soul a ship ever slow and steady,
I see you now, at the captain’s wheel.
There I exclaim, “What are you doing here?”
You retort “If I’d have let you wait til you were ready
you would have never left the shore!”
I love you, but when I sought this journey
it never crossed my mind that it could be so lonely.

‘Cause I could never relax in the shades of gray of those around
But I can’t be happy seeing things in black and white.
So you’re training my eyes to see in colors.
And I can’t help but wonder:
How can something at the same time
be so beautiful and yet so painful?

That’s what you are.
You’re excruciatingly fascinating!
And fascinatingly excruciating!
Give me a moment to catch my breath,
you who’s much too much for me!
You effortlessly steal my heart–a thief!
And yet I know it somehow:

I’m more safe than ever before.