bygones be bygones

When I was a girl
You sat high on my shelf
You were pretty, weren’t you?
Though I was too small to take you down
Yet I told all my friends about how
Shiny you were.
But when I got older
And tall enough to reach you
You went missing
So I grew colder.

But then.

I saw the sun peaking through the clouds.
I heard you coming up the stairs.
I felt the beating as my heart thawed.
I tried to whisper, “Are you really there?”
But I didn’t make a sound.

Oh, but what does it matter anyhow?

C’mon, let’s let bygones by gones
And I won’t ask why you were gone
Because my soul, how it leapt
At the slightest glimpse
Besides, if every road I take’s
Going to lead me to you anyway
Then I’ll stay, I’ll stay, I’ll stay
And I won’t ask you where you went anymore.

Not that it matters, but just so you know
Every once in a while
I’d find myself picking up the phone to dial
You only to to realized I’d forgotten the number
So I’d try to drive by
Just to see if you were home
But lose my way in neighborhoods
Familiar perhaps only by the power of suggestion
Losing steam, fearing I wouldn’t
Have the will to make it home
Wondering, will somebody let me inside?

It’s behind us now, of course, so

C’mon, let’s let bygones by gones
And I won’t ask why you were gone
Because my soul, how it leapt
At the slightest glimpse
Besides, if every road I take’s
Going to lead me to you anyway
Then I’ll stay, I’ll stay, I’ll stay
And I won’t ask you where you went anymore.

Yet I will say

The rust, it ate away at me
Though it was not kind enough to do so completely
The sculpture on your front lawn
Is nothing like it use to be
Do you see it?
Do you mind?
Don’t you mind that I dragged myself
Through every street with shoes, not waterproof
Trudging through the puddles
Because I had nothing left to lose
Wanting someone to tell me
How it could have rained so long
Without a flood to overcome
Me and sweep me away?

The sun’s out now, so it’s fine
It’s just… I begged for your eyes
To even flicker in my direction
But there was nothing
So can you explain now that you’re here
How to make this equation make sense again?

I want to let bygones be bygones
I want stop singing those sad songs
I want all sweet and no bitter
All faith and no quiver
All bloom and no wither
But my soul persists, Why weren’t you with her?