would you

I’ve never known

A faith without holes

At least ones I can’t account for

Honestly or easily

I used to be scared to admit it

Afraid it’d mean I’d have to quit it

But the truth is

I’ve also never known

I’ve never known

A love that could compete with yours

Never felt a freedom

Like when the two of us are dancing behind my bedroom door

Without anybody telling me

“This is how things are”

And what to think–

Oh, but would you still love me

If all my songs were tinged with melancholy?

Would you still call me

To be a part of something bigger than I see?

Tell me you would

.

Loose ends

I started pulling at loose ends

When I was 15 and falling apart

Loose ends

Even now pulling at loose ends

I’m 25 and I’m making it an art

(Or trying)

This search to determine

What’s real

And what’s smoke

Mostly I come up short

But even so I’ve never known

I’ve never known

A love that could compare with yours

Never felt a comfort

Like when I’m lamenting in a pile on the floor

Without anybody telling me

“This is how things are”

And how to feel–

Oh, but would you still listen to me

If all of my prayers were bittersweet

Would you still be my daily bread to eat

If I was too depressed to be hungry?

Tell me you would

.

Time flies

Beautiful hues colored out of line

Chase away black and white

I see you more clearly

Yet less defined

How is that so?

I waiver between wondering

Is it because of gained wisdom

Or because I grew tired of wandering?

All I really want is to be good

Well, all I really want is to be safe

And surrounded by the people I love

And hold an enjoyable job

And have a relatively healthy body

And a peaceful, steady mind

And time alone to collect my thoughts

But after that,

All I want is to be good and to be love

For you, like you

Because I’ve never known

I’ve never known a love that could compete with yours

I’ve never experienced another fire that burned like hell but left me wanting more

Full of purpose

Confused but sure

Without anybody telling me

“This is how things are”

And what to do–

Oh, but wouldn’t you grow weary

If all my questions were full of disbelief?

Would you still teach me

If all I ever brought were mustard seeds?

Tell me you would

.

Ah, mustard seeds

Tiny little things

My mustard seeds

I drop them down holes

And wait to see

What grows

.

.

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Bye and I luh u