I think I need to take a break for a bit. The only things I want to write about are big things I’m not done processing and parts of me I’m not ready to show the world quite yet. I’m not trying to be dramatic. But I feel things really fucking deeply and my brain is always going, going, going, so when there’s something that takes up more room in my mind and heart than normal asking me to think and feel, I don’t have a lot left to give.
I’m not doing bad mental health wise. Tragedy hasn’t struck. I’m okay!
I’m just a little preoccupied with interpreting and reinterpreting the world around me and turning over every stone I can find as I think about my place in the universe.. Everything has a season, you know?
There’s a time to lay it all out, to be open and honest, to share my growth and the lessons I’ve learned and what I’m feeling in hopes you’ll feel a little less alone. I like that time. But there’s a time to step back and sort through what there is to lay out, to decide which parts I’d like to keep to myself, and to understand changes I’m going through and the things I’m learning and the emotions I’m experiencing.
That doesn’t mean I’m not being genuine. It’s okay to need space and it’s okay to take my time. I’m guessing I’m really writing this for myself, to remind myself. I had wanted to try to start writing two or three times each month, but I think I need to set aside those expectations for this season as I retreat into myself and my personal life. It’s important to me to conserve energy and make sure I’m staying present in things that matter more to me than this hobby, things like my closest relationships.
I’m not sure how long that will be.
See you in the future,
Alissa