not alone

You’re not alone. (I mean, probably.) When something triggers emotions that I find extra hard to cope with when they’re potent, like shame, helplessness, or feeling small or when depression symptoms start to show, my mean–y’all she is vicious!–inner self comes out and lets me know without hesitation, “You’re alone. When things get dark, you’reContinue reading “not alone”

how to stop caring what people think

I’ve been a people-pleaser most of my life. I’m not the type to go a tremendous distance out of my way to make someone happy but rather the type who will obsess over any real or perceived disapproval, dislike, annoyance, anger, sadness directed towards me or as a result of something I did. By obsessContinue reading “how to stop caring what people think”

going with the flow

I’m learning to go with the flow, the flow of my energy, that is. I used to set the same productivity (and even social) expectations without taking into account the natural flow of my physical and mental energy. And then I would fail. I would fail because I would often set my expectations in timesContinue reading “going with the flow”

tangled

I wrote almost 2 months ago in a post called sad vaguely about entering “a season of existential/religious/spiritual searching,” and that when I was ready to I would continue those thoughts. I’m kind of ready, but only ready enough to expand just a tiny bit further–but not much, so don’t get your hopes up forContinue reading “tangled”

wicks and whispers

We laid down our answers With a restlessness in our limbs And a numbness in our hearts Surreal encounters half-forgotten Running our fingers over pretty scars Memories of Love etched in the skin Of our souls   We laid down our answers The answers we had demanded in the past Meticulously crafted and quickly bought–Continue reading “wicks and whispers”

confession

Shout, shout at the Moon Shout all you want to She won’t grace you with a whisper She doesn’t wander, she isn’t like you Though there are nights I look up at the sky And I witness a sort of reply In her ancient, glassy eyes They suggest a bigger, brighter, warmer light Well, thatContinue reading “confession”

sad

I’m not sure I’m feeling a little sadness or am experiencing the first signs of a depressive wonky period of life (mostly my wonky brain is anxious or disorganized). I’ve had two major depression episodes in my life, one in high school and one in college, each starting about 4 years apart. I’m a yearContinue reading “sad”

relationships & wonky brains

My husband, Evan, and I recently celebrated our two year anniversary. And being the INFP that I am, I’ve been reflecting on things I’ve learned through our relationship. Things about myself and about helping relationships function better. A big thing that had a bit of learning curve for us was navigating my mental health, myContinue reading “relationships & wonky brains”

would you

I’ve never known A faith without holes At least ones I can’t account for Honestly or easily I used to be scared to admit it Afraid it’d mean I’d have to quit it But the truth is I’ve also never known I’ve never known A love that could compete with yours Never felt a freedomContinue reading “would you”