BELIEF

stream of consciousness

I’m scared if I don’t write, don’t get some of what’s on my mind out, I’ll have another panic attack in the middle of the night and not be able to sleep. I think I’m tired from the day, think I’ve taken in too much information and my brain doesn’t have the capacity to sortContinue reading “stream of consciousness”

To My College Self

Dear College Alissa, ONE: Give others a chance to count you in before you count yourself out. Yeah, you’re quirky and awkward. There’s no real way to avoid that. But you’re also pretty funny and are genuinely interested in basically everyone. That’s cool and most people actually like you when you give them a chance.Continue reading “To My College Self”

Protected: getting there pt 1

There is no excerpt because this is a protected post.

bygones be bygones

When I was a girl You sat high on my shelf You were pretty, weren’t you? Though I was too small to take you down Yet I told all my friends about how Shiny you were. But when I got older And tall enough to reach you You went missing So I grew colder. ButContinue reading “bygones be bygones”

how you have changed me

when i knock on your mother’s door and i hear you inside yelling my name in excitement, waiting for us to play the game over and over and over where you shake my hand, i say, “oh, hello! how are you?” and you giggle endlessly because the words are nonsense to you when you beamedContinue reading “how you have changed me”

chaos

Chaos pretty much terrifies me. I hate it. At least most of the time. Sometimes I thrive on it to a certain extent. Sometimes I need it in this weird way. I had a friend die when I was in high school. I was there when the accident happened. It was chaotic for a lotContinue reading “chaos”

avalanche in my soul

Last night before I fell asleep, I dreamed of brightly painted toenails Barefoot in green, summer grass; A spark in my eye and dirt on my hands. I felt fresh air in my lungs, My own words on my tongue. I dreamed of running til my scrawny legs collapsed Cause every field was complete withoutContinue reading “avalanche in my soul”

10 Things I’ve Learned From My Dad

1.) Life is not about you. Sometimes there will be people you don’t like, rules you don’t agree with, and hoops you have to jump through. Sometimes the group will decide to do something you don’t enjoy. Sometimes you have to sacrifice for people you love. Sometimes you’re forced to spend time with people whoContinue reading “10 Things I’ve Learned From My Dad”

young for the first time

Lately I’ve been feeling young again. Well, not again. For the first time, really. I started taking Zoloft, which is an SSRI, about a month and a half ago. I wish I would have started taking it a heck of a long time ago. Before I started taking it, I can’t even remember the lastContinue reading “young for the first time”

She looked at me and told me, “It’s going to be okay.” She said it with such conviction, The kind that’s hard to look away from. I almost kind of sort of believed her. I wanted to believer her. Because when I looked in her eyes, I could tell I was in the presence ofContinue reading “belief”