would you

I’ve never known A faith without holes At least ones I can’t account for Honestly or easily I used to be scared to admit it Afraid it’d mean I’d have to quit it But the truth is I’ve also never known I’ve never known A love that could compete with yours Never felt a freedomContinue reading “would you”

joy and grief and also some rambling about adoption in the middle

I don’t really feel like writing, but I decided to make myself because I think it’s what I need. Today is the first day in a while I didn’t wait until the last possible second to wake up. I’ve been really tired. I’d been letting myself just sleep, because sometimes your body is fighting offContinue reading “joy and grief and also some rambling about adoption in the middle”

two and one

there is a young, young man standing at the end of the pier turmoil in his eyes worry in his hands dread heavy in his feet repeating like a broken record the sea breeze shouted at me said there isn’t anything true to believe and the sun shined and it sighed theres nothing more thanContinue reading “two and one”

packing, shame, and sweet husbands

My husband kicked me out of the house this evening because I had a wonky brain breakdown over all the packing we have left to do for our move tomorrow. It wasn’t an angry kicking out. It was a loving one. He did it for me. (Part of me wants to wait until the thoughtsContinue reading “packing, shame, and sweet husbands”

on silence

I’m feeling more in touch with myself than I have for a while. I owe that to taking the last few days to “de-noise” my life. I was feeling overstimulated by work (preschoolers are beautiful little universes but they aren’t exactly known for being tranquil or low maintenance) and by a host of thoughts needingContinue reading “on silence”

The Mental Immune System | Part Two

A few weeks ago we started talking about the mental immune system. In part one, we got the boring elements out of the way (eating health food, exercising regularly, and sleeping enough). Today, I want to focus on: connection. I have found genuine connection to be vital for my mental health because it is grounding.Continue reading “The Mental Immune System | Part Two”

stream of consciousness – gut feelings & joy

My husband, Evan, and I kind of take turns being the Chatty Chad/Cathy in our relationship. Evan can talk at length on one very focused subject. This is why, for example, despite having never seen a single second of it, I feel like I’ve watched the entire series Dexter. And why I’ve¬†experienced an extremely detailedContinue reading “stream of consciousness – gut feelings & joy”

The Mental Immune System | Part One

My sophomore year of college, I was really depressed. Within that year, there was a period of time where I was even suicidal. (If you’ve been following my blog for awhile, you already know that.) I remember, back then, searching the internet for how to not be that way. Whenever I read things like¬†get enoughContinue reading “The Mental Immune System | Part One”