tangled

I wrote almost 2 months ago in a post called sad vaguely about entering "a season of existential/religious/spiritual searching," and that when I was ready to I would continue those thoughts. I'm kind of ready, but only ready enough to expand just a tiny bit further--but not much, so don't get your hopes up for… Continue reading tangled

sad

I'm not sure I'm feeling a little sadness or am experiencing the first signs of a depressive wonky period of life (mostly my wonky brain is anxious or disorganized). I've had two major depression episodes in my life, one in high school and one in college, each starting about 4 years apart. I'm a year… Continue reading sad

two and one

there is a young, young man standing at the end of the pier turmoil in his eyes worry in his hands dread heavy in his feet repeating like a broken record the sea breeze shouted at me said there isn't anything true to believe and the sun shined and it sighed theres nothing more than… Continue reading two and one

on happiness

My mom sent me a quote this morning as I sat in a coffee shop journaling. "Don't be pushed by your problems. Be led by your dreams." - Ralph Waldo Emerson It's not important I'm in a coffee shop (btw here's how I feel about coffee) but I only mention it so I can brag… Continue reading on happiness

getting there pt 2

Enough time has passed that anyone who had read part one of this had probably forgotten I wrote a part one to begin with. You can catch up here if you don’t mind typos I’m still too lazy to go back and change (honestly, if you do mind typos, this site is not the one… Continue reading getting there pt 2

getting there pt 1

I think I'm writing this for two groups of people. The first group is only compromised of myself. I think I need to be reminded of how I've changed, how far I've come. The other group is those people I'll never get a chance to sit down and share life stories with, either because we'll… Continue reading getting there pt 1

two paragraphs of me saying what i REALLY wanted to say in the middle of a bunch of paragraphs of me talking AROUND what i really wanted to say

When I think or I type these types of things I usually sandwich them between "I know this isn't true, but..." and all the examples or points that contradict what I'm feeling. But I'm not going to do that today. It's incredibly hard not to, but for some reason it seems important this time. I… Continue reading two paragraphs of me saying what i REALLY wanted to say in the middle of a bunch of paragraphs of me talking AROUND what i really wanted to say

What love is and isn’t. Always.

"Love is patient, love is kind. ...It is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, not easily angered,.." Love is these things even when that person is part of a different political party than you, even when this person is a different race. Even when that person is a different religion--including… Continue reading What love is and isn’t. Always.

avalanche in my soul

Last night before I fell asleep, I dreamed of brightly painted toenails Barefoot in green, summer grass; A spark in my eye and dirt on my hands. I felt fresh air in my lungs, My own words on my tongue. I dreamed of running til my scrawny legs collapsed Cause every field was complete without… Continue reading avalanche in my soul

things my mom said at just the right time.

I honestly don't know what I would do without my mom flawlessly saying exactly what I need to hear the moment I need to hear it. Thursday was one of those times. We talked on the phone for almost two hours, so there's no way I could write down all the wonderful things she shared… Continue reading things my mom said at just the right time.