going with the flow

I'm learning to go with the flow, the flow of my energy, that is. I used to set the same productivity (and social too) expectations without taking into account the natural flow of my physical and mental energy. And then I would fail. I would fail because I would often set my expectations in times… Continue reading going with the flow

sad

I'm not sure I'm feeling a little sadness or am experiencing the first signs of a depressive wonky period of life (mostly my wonky brain is anxious or disorganized). I've had two major depression episodes in my life, one in high school and one in college, each starting about 4 years apart. I'm a year… Continue reading sad

relationships & wonky brains

[You know I didn't proofread this. I know it's a reflection on me and that sucks but proofreading is boring and I'm not a professional blogger and you more or less can still get the point even with a typo or ten. When I read this again in thee days I'll be horrified at all… Continue reading relationships & wonky brains

joy and grief and also some rambling about adoption in the middle

I don't really feel like writing, but I decided to make myself because I think it's what I need. Today is the first day in a while I didn't wait until the last possible second to wake up. I've been really tired. I'd been letting myself just sleep, because sometimes your body is fighting off… Continue reading joy and grief and also some rambling about adoption in the middle

The Mental Immune System | Part One

My sophomore year of college, I was really depressed. Within that year, there was a period of time where I was even suicidal. (If you've been following my blog for awhile, you already know that.) I remember, back then, searching the internet for how to not be that way. Whenever I read things like get enough… Continue reading The Mental Immune System | Part One

So you’re in deep

(that's what she said) Immature jokes aside, I'm talking about being deep in a dark, wonky brain hole. Maybe you can't even see the light when you look up. Maybe it's too cold to feel anything and you have no energy left to move. Or maybe it's so burning hot you can't think straight because… Continue reading So you’re in deep

Strategies for the Wonky Brain – Part 3

Hi! If you're new here, my name's Alissa and I'm passionate about writing about wonky brain, specifically about strategies for managing it and working through it. Oh, and wonky brain is my term for what would generally speaking be called anxiety and depression. For some reason, I feel like calling it wonky brain gives me… Continue reading Strategies for the Wonky Brain – Part 3

stream of consciousness

[I sat down to write about comparison. Then, I opened a new tab to write about the things I've learn at my job (my two year anniversary there is today!). But, my soul was having none of it. Instead, this came out:] I'm scared if I don't write, don't get some of what's on my… Continue reading stream of consciousness

Your feelings aren’t stupid.

Your feelings are not stupid. It's not stupid you're hung up on your ex. It's not stupid you're mortified someone pointed out your weight gain. It's not stupid you're obsessed with the thought you'll make the wrong decision if you pick this opportunity over that one. It's not stupid you're still angry at that person… Continue reading Your feelings aren’t stupid.